nola_quicksilver | (no subject)

Why didn't you tell me?

About the music?

Yeah.

At first, because I thought you would make fun of me. And then, I don’t know. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I play piano well and I like making mixes because of the math involved, and you’re an artist... But I still wasn’t trying to keep it from you. We’ve had so much to talk about.

I'm sorry I was such an asshole that me making fun of your music was a risk. Seriously, I'm sorry, Sam.

Now I know you wouldn’t have! But I always thought you were making fun of me at first, before we really did this. And you almost never were. So I’m sorry I made those assumptions.

But I really was too much of a dick. I'm sorry I made you that defensive, especially when we were already sleeping together.

To be fair to you, I’m a pretty defensive guy. Why do you think you were abrasive?

I think I was just used to not getting along with you. And I was scared of you getting too close and me getting too attached.

And then it happened.

I couldn't help it.

Neither could I. I was scared of that too.

Maybe because I was a dick.

You weren’t really. I don’t think you were ever all that rude or unkind.

I think you're looking back on it with love eyes.

Possibly. But I don’t like you blaming yourself.

Well, I should have been better to you.

You’re excellent to me now. The best I could ask for. Better than.

I'm really trying. Except now, when I'm being a baby. Sorry I made this cute banter weird.

I wish you wouldn’t put yourself down so much. You can talk about what’s bothering you or what you need and it doesn’t make you a baby. Even if it gets weird you’re still the person I want to talk to above anyone else.

Do I put myself down a lot?

Yes. Every time you talk about your feelings. You might hate having feelings more than I do.

I didn't even realize.

Well, I pay extraordinarily close attention to you.

My own personal expert.

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