(no subject)

[nola_quicksilver]

I took my boyfriend to meet my mom over Mother's Day weekend and now she likes him better than me. I'm refusing to give her his cell number because I know she's just going to text him my middle school photos or something. Now she's threatening to just FedEx him copies directly. AITA if I just move out and let them be very happy together?


Sam

Thank you for letting me use you to figure out how to fuck in a bunk bed, though. It was a beautiful parting gift.



Dani

I was thinking of our other mothers on Sunday too. In my universe, anyway, we had two, the one who bore us and the one who raised us.



Elspeth

How're you doing? Completely over the asshole? Ready to party?



Katie

How'd the thing at Alex's going? I felt bad for dragging Sam away, but also not.

Comments

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

1. She can be bought with pina coladas, so don't get too attached to the title.
2. She's not already friended you on FB, Insta, and Snapchat yet?
3. I was doing important stuff, okay!
4. I'll mail you an eviction notice.
5. That way I don't have to move out.
6. I love you very much.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

1. I can buy pina coladas. (Sidenote: have never tried a pina colada).
2. I barely even know what snapchat is, but yes to facebook.
3. You're so cute.
4. I'm not going anywhere.
5. You're stuck with me.
6. I love you too.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

1. SAMUEL. What do you even drink? It's very serious red wine, isn't it?
2. Oh God. Hope you like Bitmojis!
3. Yeah, I really am.

The rest earns you a gift:

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

It's beer, but NOTHING else matters except this photo. LOOK HOW CUTE YOU ARE.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

Beer? How down to earth of you! And I'm a little dork. The teacher combed my hair for me.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

I used to go have exactly one beer alone after work every Friday night. You're perfect and I am going to treasure this picture. Your face!

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

SAM, you're breaking my heart! I should have asked you out for drinks! And it's not as good as your Top Gun Halloween pic.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

You still can do that! I didn't realize that was a sad story until... just now. Shh, I won't hear a bad word about this photo.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

Okay, but do we want to do drinks as a date or sexy roleplaying where you're having your sadness beer and I come by to chat you up? And Oliver Dorkface loves Top Gun Junior.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

......... I do want to see how you would chat up a stranger.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

You're so weird, by which I mean I will definitely do this with you.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

I like knowing how you work!

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

Have you ever picked up a stranger before?

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

Never.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

You're such wholesome content. I SHOULD put you on my insta story.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

Did you just call me content?

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

Yeah, Ivy and I were talking social media.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

"wholesome content." It's not the worst thing I've been called. I'll take it.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

But you're also privately my PornHub fave.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

For a second, I was irrationally worried I was actually on pornhub.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

Uh, just so we're clear, I would never do that to you.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

I know you wouldn't!

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

And I would destroy anyone who did.

Re: Oliver

[nola_cyclops]

I absolutely believe that, too.

Re: Oliver

[nola_quicksilver]

But you can keep being my personal PornHub.